Comfort Zone
by IamJenbob
Summary: Jane accepts a New Year's resolution challenge from Maura to try new things each month in an effort to break out of their comfort zones. Will love eventually be one of those new things? – Rated M for Rizzles (and probably a little cursing)
1. New Year's Day

**A/N: I'm not usually one for working on two separate stories at the same time, but since this story has to begin on New Year's Day, I didn't want too much time to pass before I posted the first chapter (I've actually been sitting on this for days). The fact that "I Never" won't last longer than 10 chapters means that the posting overlap won't be all that long. Not entirely certain how long this will be at the moment, but a safe best is at least 25 - 30 chapters.**

******I own nothing but the plot and any and all errors, grammatical or otherwise.**

"So did my mother throw things out the window again last night?"

It was an Italian superstition to throw old pots, pans, clothes, appliances, and in some cases even furniture out the window on New Year's Eve. The activity symbolized the idea of letting go of past unhappiness to prepare for the future. Jane's father had adamantly refused to allow his wife to throw "perfectly good things" out the window when they had been together, seeing it as nothing more than a waste of money. Now that she was on her own, though, Angela had fully embraced the custom.

"As a matter of fact, she did," Maura replied, a trace of laughter in her voice. She and Jane were currently sitting side by side at the counter that separated the detective's kitchen from her living room, drinking wine and finishing up a dinner that had been prepared by the aforementioned Italian matriarch. "Which was almost very unfortunate for me. I completely forgot she would be doing that, and I almost tripped over a pan that was lying on the ground when I got home last night."

"I don't know why you keep letting her do it," Jane said, half exasperated, half embarrassed by her mother's behavior. "Just tell her to stop and she'll stop. She didn't do it while she was living with my father."

"Yes, that's true, and look how lucky that turned out to be," Maura said pointedly.

Jane's eyebrows shot up. "Sarcasm on the first day of the year, Dr. Isles? I'm impressed."

Maura chuckled softly. "I'll admit that it's a bit of an inconvenience, but it's her home. I can't tell her that she can't do something if it's important to her."

"Of course you can," Jane scoffed. "You're her landlord."

"It's a tradition, Jane."

"It's a tradition to put you at risk of breaking your neck tripping over the crap she throws out the window?" Jane asked.

The medical examiner sighed and shook her head. "It's not that big of a deal."

"Alright, fine. _I'll_ tell her not to do it next year."

"No you won't."

"Yes, I will. Maura, it's just a ridiculous superstition."

"'A ridiculous superstition'? You mean like eating _cotechino con lenticchie _on New Year's Day?"

Jane looked down at her plate. _Cotechino con lenticchie_, or pork sausage with lentils, was a traditional Italian meal served on New Year's Day. Eating the dish was supposed to bring good fortune and wealth in the upcoming year. For as long as she could remember, Jane had eaten her mother's _cotechino con lenticchie_ as her primary New Year's Day meal. And while she didn't really believe it would bring her wealth and good luck, she also didn't see any reason to risk not eating it either.

Jane lifted her head to see Maura smirking at her. "No, this is a _delicious_ superstition," she replied, before taking another bite. She tried to keep her features neutral, but despite her best efforts, a smile began to appear on her face. "There's a difference."

"Of course there is," Maura replied solemnly. The medical examiner studied her own plate. "Well at least the lentils are good for you, but the fatty sausage–"

"So what time did you get home last night?" Jane asked, deliberately changing the subject.

Maura looked up at the detective. Jane's expression was one of complete innocence, but the medical examiner knew her friend far too well to be fooled. Deciding it wasn't worth arguing about Jane's eating habits while she was enjoying a special dinner that her mother had cooked for her, Maura ate the last bite of her meal, set her fork down, and used her napkin to dab at her mouth. "About one o'clock," she replied.

"Really?" Jane asked, not bothering to hide her surprise. "You were home by one o'clock? Obviously I was right about the party. It couldn't have been that great if you were home so early."

Maura had attended an annual New Year's Eve charity event thrown by the Isles Foundation the night before. Every year for the past four years, Maura had invited Jane to attend with her as her guest, and every year for the past four years, Jane had declined. The detective had made it clear that she had no interest in attending a formal event where she would feel uncomfortable and out of place, when she could instead spend the evening at home in comfortable clothes.

"Actually it was wonderful. The music, the dancing, the food. You should have come with me. You would have had fun."

"Right, and which part would have been fun?" Jane asked sardonically. "The music I don't like, the dancing I don't do, or the tiny weird food I can't stand to eat?"

"The company you enjoy?" Maura asked meaningfully, her left eyebrow rising a fraction.

Jane sighed contritely. She knew Maura had really wanted her to go with her to the party, and that fact had _almost_ been enough to convince the detective to go. The memory of five years ago when she _had_ attended the party, however, was still clear enough in her mind to prevent her from doing so.

The Isles Foundation New Year's Eve party was one of the most prestigious events of the winter season, and was attended by the crème de la crème of Boston society. As hostess of the event, Maura had been required to spend her time mingling with the members of Boston's wealthy elite, every single one of whom seemed to have been intent on having a long, drawn out conversation with her. As a result, Jane had barely seen Maura the entire night. Instead, she had found herself talking to people she didn't know while pretending to be interested in things she wasn't interested in. On the one occasion she had been asked to dance, she had tripped her partner and nearly sent them both crashing to the floor. She had never felt more like an uncultured, graceless clod in her entire life, and she had no intention of putting herself through that again when there was no reason for her to do so.

"The company would have been enjoyable," Jane agreed, somewhat chastened. "But as hostess, the company had duties to attend to that would have made it impossible for her to spend more than a few minutes of time with me anyway. I'm sure there were plenty of fascinating people there to keep you occupied."

Maura nodded her head slightly. "As a matter of fact, I did meet one interesting gentleman: Gerald Ayers. He's an environmental lawyer for the state."

And that was the other part of the Isles Foundation charity event that Jane had hated: the part where she had been forced to watch every single man in the place drool over her friend like she was a piece of meat. It would have been one thing, Jane supposed, if the men fawning over Maura had been doing so because they had seen for themselves just how incredible her friend was. But they didn't see the kind, thoughtful, intelligent person behind the beautiful face, the perfect body, and the expensive clothes. No, all they saw _was_ the beautiful face, the perfect body, and the expensive clothes, and perhaps more important, the ticket to instantly increasing their own social status amongst Boston's elite. Watching her friend gliding effortlessly across the dance floor with pretentious suitor after pretentious suitor, each more shallow and less deserving of the amazing gift that was Maura Isles than the last, had been nearly more than Jane could bear. And that had been five years ago; now, Jane knew, it would be far worse.

Five years ago, Jane had yet to realize that she was attracted to women.

But things had changed over the last five years, and slowly but surely, Jane had begun to accept that she was just as interested in women as men, if not more so. Nine months ago, she had finally found the courage to go out on her first date with a woman. Since then, she had dated a handful of other women and only had one date with a man. Jane had kept this change in her dating habits private, and none of her friends, coworkers, or family members had any idea that she had begun to see women. It wasn't that Jane was ashamed of what she was doing, but she wanted the chance to figure out her feelings for herself, before she invited everyone else to weigh in on her life.

The one thing that Jane did know for certain was that, regardless of the label that she or others might ultimately choose to attach to her, she was most definitely attracted to the beauty and grace of the female form. And as far as Jane was concerned, there was no more perfect example of the female form than Dr. Maura Isles. Because of this, Jane couldn't help but be drawn to the charming medical examiner. There were even times, crazy times admittedly, but times nevertheless when Jane considered revealing her attraction to women in general, and Maura in particular, to her friend. However, even though she didn't believe that the medical examiner would be upset by the revelation, for a variety of reasons, Jane had remained silent. First and foremost, she had chosen to keep her feelings to herself because, although she was reasonably confident about how Maura would react, she wasn't absolutely certain. The last thing Jane wanted to do was to in any way risk or even put a strain on her friendship with the medical examiner. The second issue was that, as far as Jane knew, Maura wasn't interested in women and only dated men. Of course, all of Jane's friends and family would say the same thing about the detective. That fact notwithstanding, though, Jane had no concrete evidence that Maura could be attracted to any woman, let alone to her.

Unfortunately, even if the medical examiner was interested in women as well as men, as far as Jane was concerned, Maura was so far out of her league that it was ridiculous to even consider such a match. Maura was like a starting pitcher on the Boston Red Sox, while Jane was just some poor schlub toiling in Single-A ball. Still, there were moments, especially when they were alone together like they were now, that Jane allowed herself to wonder what it might be like to date someone like Maura Isles.

Knowing that no good could come from such thoughts, Jane did what she always did and pushed them aside and focused on the conversation she was having with her friend. "If he was so interesting, why were you home by one o'clock?"

"I had a very early conference call this morning with a professor of forensics sciences at Cambridge. I didn't want to stay out too late."

"Wow, that sounds like a great way to start off the new year," Jane said.

Maura shrugged matter-of-factly. "I've had worse. Besides, after the call was over, I had a nice breakfast with Tommy and then went for a short run."

Jane immediately scowled at the mention of her youngest brother. Tommy was as bad if not worse around Maura than any of the men at the damn charity event. Between the lecherous looks and the pathetic come-ons, Jane had lost count of the number of times that she had had to restrain herself from punching him in the face over his lack of proper respect for the medical examiner. "What was Tommy doing at your house first thing in the morning?"

Maura took a sip of her wine before answering. "He came over to get the things your mother threw out the window last night. She sent him over so that my first visitor of the new year–"

"Would be a tall, dark-haired man," Jane finished, rolling her eyes in exasperation.

"You forgot good-looking," Maura teased, "But yes."

The detective made an involuntary face in response to Maura's comment about her brother being good-looking, before shaking her head at her mother's actions. "God she's unbelievable sometimes," Jane muttered. It was another one of Angela's superstitions. The first person to enter someone's home after the stroke of midnight would determine the kind of year that they would have. For good luck, the "first footer" was supposed to be tall, dark-haired, good-looking, and most definitely male. Sending Tommy over to Maura's house in the morning, though, was going too far. Jane was definitely going to talk to her mother about it the next time she saw her.

The detective stood up and picked up their empty plates and then took them over to the sink to rinse, before placing them in the dishwasher. "Too bad things didn't go better with Mr. Environmental Lawyer. He could have been your first visitor."

"Oh that wouldn't have worked at all," Maura replied.

Jane turned around and leaned back against the sink. "Why not? Wasn't he good-looking enough?"

"Devastatingly handsome actually, but he's blond."

Jane gasped and placed her hand over her heart. "The horror!"

Maura laughed. "He had a friend at the party. If you'd come with me–"

"I would have been bored, uncomfortable, and miserable, and I probably would have made you miserable too." Jane straightened up and walked over to the fridge to get a beer. A part of her had hoped that Maura would say that the lawyer was not attractive, but deep down, Jane knew that had been unlikely. After all, Maura was drop dead gorgeous, so it was only logical that anyone who caught her eye would be ridiculously good-looking as well. Jane opened up her beer and took a drink. "Trust me. I was much happier here, drinking beer, eating pizza, and watching TV in an old t-shirt and sweatpants."

Maura watched as Jane took another drink. "And red underwear?" she asked, a twinkle in her eye.

Jane nearly choked. "Oh my god!" she exclaimed, as she wiped beer off of her chin. "_Please_ tell me that she did not buy you underwear for New Year's Eve!"

Maura laughed, enjoying Jane's discomfort. "No, of course she didn't. She just made sure that I knew the importance of wearing red underwear on New Year's Eve to ensure good luck in the coming year. I take it from your question, though, that she bought underwear for you."

"Boundaries woman!" Jane exclaimed. The last thing she had any intention of discussing with Maura were the details regarding her underwear. Such a discussion would inevitably lead to discussing Maura's undergarment situation, and that was definitely not a conversation that Jane was prepared to have. "God, you're as bad as my mother."

Maura regarded her friend with amusement, as she took another sip of her wine. "So," she said, resting her chin on her hand. "Did you make any New Year's resolutions?"

Jane snorted. "No, why would I do that?"

Maura tilted her head slightly to the side. "About half of Americans make New Year's resolutions each year in an attempt to make changes in their lives."

"So you're saying I need to change who I am?" Jane asked, feigning a look of hurt. "And here I thought you liked me for who I was."

Maura arched an eyebrow at her friend's attempt to bait her. "What I'm saying is that everyone has room for improvement in their lives. For example, you could resolve to eat better."

"Oh I think we both know that won't happen," Jane said. "On the other hand, _you_ could resolve to bug me less about eating better."

"Oh I think we both know _that_ won't happen," Maura replied wryly.

Jane took a long pull from her beer and then frowned slightly. "What's the point of making New Year's resolutions anyway? No one ever actually keeps them."

"That's not true," Maura said. "Approximately ten percent of people are successful in achieving their resolutions each year."

"Wow. Ten percent?" Jane asked, her voice laced with sarcasm. "Well sign me up then. I'll be a better, more fulfilled human being in no time. In the meantime, though, I think I'll just watch a movie. You want to stay and watch with me?"

"I assume you're planning on watching _Die Hard_?"

"Of course, it's New Year's Day."

"That movie doesn't take place on New Year's Day. It takes place on Christmas."

Jane walked over to her DVDs and began searching through them. It took her only a few moments to find the one she wanted. "That's not the point. It's a tradition to watch my favorite movie on the first day of the year."

Maura watched Jane put the DVD into the player and then pick up the remote. "Tradition, or superstition?"

Jane turned to face her friend before responding. "Tradition," she said emphatically.

"So it wouldn't be 'bad luck' for you not to watch it?" Maura teased.

"Only for you, because I'll be grumpy if I don't watch it."

"Well I certainly wouldn't want to ever experience 'grumpy Jane,' Maura said with a smirk. She rose to her feet and walked over to sit down on the couch. "But I get to pick the movie next time."

"Fine," Jane agreed, as she moved to sit beside Maura. She waited impatiently for the DVD to cycle through the opening "commercials" and disclaimers, until finally the first menu appeared. Just as she was about to hit play, however, Maura reached out and placed her hand over the remote.

"Wait."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just had an idea. Studies show that setting specific small goals is better than just planning to generally become better at life."

Jane groaned and shook her head. "Seriously, Maura? The resolution thing again?"

"Hear me out. How about if we agree that in each month of 2014, we'll both learn something new and eat something new–"

"Fine," Jane interrupted, ready to agree to almost anything if it meant she could watch her movie. "For January I'll get Frost to teach me the choke hold he knows, and I'll eat a deep fried Twinkie." She aimed the remote at the player and hit play.

Maura sighed in frustration. "I wasn't finished." The medical examiner waited a few moments for Jane to look at her, but the detective pointedly ignored her friend and kept her attention focused on the TV. "Jane," she said warningly, after several seconds had passed.

"After the movie," Jane said, waving the hand that was holding the remote at the blonde dismissively.

Maura reached out and snatched the remote from Jane's grasp and hit pause. "I wasn't finished."

Jane slowly turned to face her friend, an incredulous look on her face. "Give me the remote."

"No."

"Maura," Jane half growled. "Give me the remote."

The medical examiner's left eyebrow arched defiantly. "No," she said slowly and deliberately. She shifted slightly away from the detective and placed the hand holding the remote behind her back. "Not until you let me finish."

Jane knew that the sensible thing would be to simply allow Maura to say whatever it was that she wanted to say, get the remote back, and then watch the movie in peace. The challenge she could see in Maura's eyes, however sparked a need inside Jane to meet that challenge head on. "Last chance," she said, holding out her hand. "Give me the remote."

Maura lifted her chin slightly, obviously daring Jane to make her move. "Not until you let me finish," she repeated, carefully enunciating each word.

Jane leaned closer, her eyes never leaving her friend's. "One."

A slow smile began to play at the corners of Maura's lips.

"Two," Jane warned, her voice lowering to a deep rumble. Her body tensed as she prepared to launch her attack.

"Listen to my proposal, or I will point out the huge plot hole in _Die Hard_," Maura said calmly.

Jane immediately froze. "You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

Jane clenched her jaw in frustration. She hated giving in to anyone for any reason, but the last thing she wanted was for Maura to ruin her favorite movie by pointing out something that Jane had never noticed about it. After all, she hadn't been able to watch _The Karate Kid_ ever since a puzzled Maura had asked her how Ralph Macchio had won the tournament using a kick to the face, when they had said over and over during the tournament that kicks to the face were illegal.

"I just have to listen?" Jane ground out through her teeth.

"Yes."

With a muttered oath, Jane sat back and impatiently gestured at the medical examiner to speak. "Alright, finish what you wanted to say."

Maura tried to hide her triumphant grin, but she was only partially successful in doing so. "I propose that each month, we agree to learn something new and eat something new, but _I'll_ pick what _you_ have to learn and eat, and _you_ pick what_ I_ have to learn and eat."

"That's it? Nothing else?"

"That's it," Maura agreed.

Jane held her hand out expectantly. When Maura placed the remote in her grasp, the detective turned so that she was once again facing the TV. "Absolutely not," she said, as she hit play to start the movie.

Maura stared at her friend for a moment. "Why not?"

"Because I don't want to," Jane replied petulantly.

Maura shook her head and reached for the remote, but Jane quickly extended her arm to hold it beyond the medical examiner's reach.

"Jane–"

"The agreement was that I would listen, not that I would do it."

"Jane."

The detective closed her eyes briefly when she heard Maura use her caring, gentle tone of voice that Jane was powerless to resist, and then hit the pause button. Jane sighed and turned to face her friend. "Give me one reason why I should agree to do that."

"Because it would be good for you, for both of us, to try new things," Maura replied without hesitation.

"And do you have peer reviewed papers to back up that hypothesis?" Jane asked, her eyes wide and earnest.

"As a matter of fact, I do. If you'd like I could bring them to work tomorrow…and you don't actually care about the papers, do you?" Maura finished ruefully.

"No, I really don't," Jane replied, running a hand through her hair in mild frustration. "How about this…you've been after me for years to take a real vacation, so why don't we just go somewhere together for a week this summer and that can be our new thing to do?"

"We can do that too."

"No, not 'too'…instead. We could do that instead," Jane urged. "Maura, I like my life. Why should I make any changes? I'm perfectly content."

The medical examiner studied her friend thoughtfully. "Content?" she finally asked. "Is that really what you're looking for out of life, Jane? Just to be content?"

The words were softly spoken, but there was something about the way that Maura had said them that made Jane suddenly realize that it was a question that at some point, she was going to have to answer at least for herself. She had been drifting through her life for a long time now, and that fact hadn't really bothered her. But maybe it was time that she figured out what she really wanted out of life and go after it.

"I don't know," Jane said at last. "I guess I haven't really thought about it."

Maura shifted closer to her friend and placed her hand on the detective's knee. "Please Jane? Say you'll give this a try."

Jane looked over at the blonde, a resigned expression on her face. "So the reason for doing this is what exactly?"

Maura smiled. "To get us out of our comfort zones."

"Our 'comfort zones'?"

Maura nodded. "Yes, comfort zones. Situations where a person feels comfortable, secure, and in control."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Jane said with a slightly nervous laugh.

"There are certainly some benefits to operating within your comfort zone, and truthfully, I usually prefer to stay well within mine," Maura confessed. "But the fact is that comfort zones create mental boundaries that can lead to an unsupported sense of security. From time to time, it's a good idea to step outside of them. Sometimes, taking chances is the only way to get what you want out of life."

Jane's brow furrowed, as she looked at her friend. "And what is it _you_ want out of life, Maura?"

The medical examiner shook her head. "Honestly, I don't know either. But I do know that I want more than just to be 'content'."

"And you somehow think learning new skills and trying new foods is going to help us to change our lives for the better?" Jane asked skeptically.

"Making changes in your life is never easy, Jane, but you have to start somewhere. This seems like as good a place as any to start."

The detective lowered her head and considered her options. Almost immediately, she realized that she had none. Maura had always been able to get her to do ridiculous things that no one else possibly could. This wasn't going to be any different. God help her; she was already whipped and the two of them weren't even actually involved.

Jane shook her head and exhaled heavily. "Wow, I am really going to regret this," she muttered.

A slow smile began to appear on Maura's face. "So you'll do it?"

"I'll do it," Jane agreed, "But on three conditions."

"Ok, what conditions?"

"First, if either of us doesn't learn what we're supposed to learn, or eat what we're supposed to eat, then the deal's off."

Maura crossed her arms and looked at the detective suspiciously. "And what's going to keep you from just refusing to eat the first thing I pick for you so that you can get out of the deal?"

Jane grinned. "You actually think I'm going to let you beat me at this?"

Maura laughed, acknowledging the truth behind Jane's question. The detective was far too competitive to simply give up and allow Maura to win by default. "Alright. What's the second condition?"

"I'll eat _regular_ health food that is served in _regular_ people's restaurants and in _regular_ people's homes, but I'm not eating bugs and snails and other weird, slimy things."

"Actually, although snail meat is quite healthy, escargot itself is generally prepared in such a way as to add a considerable amount of cholesterol and fat to the dish. But I understand what you mean," Maura continued hastily, seeing Jane about to deliver an eyeroll of epic proportions, "And I agree. Fish, fruits, grains, vegetables, and fungus only."

"_Fungus_?" Jane demanded.

"Mushrooms are fungus and they are not weird or slimy."

"Alright, mushrooms," Jane agreed grudgingly. "But no other 'fungus'."

"And the third condition?"

"You promise that you will never, _ever_, tell me the plot hole in _Die Hard_."

Maura grinned. "I promise."

"All right, then," Jane said, sighing slightly in defeat. "I'll do it."

Even as she verbally agreed, however, Jane found herself mentally groaning at the entire idea. She reminded herself, though, that they were only talking about once a month. Besides, she could surely break Maura before this went on for too long. All she had to do was pick completely pointless things for Maura to learn, and greasy, fatty, sugar-laden things for her to eat. The cerebral, health-conscious medical examiner would be desperate to call the resolution off in no time. To that end, Jane racked her brain for a suitably idiotic skill to assign to her friend to learn. After several seconds, the perfect choice came to her. "Pen spinning."

"What?" Maura asked, confused by the detective's non sequitur.

"Pen spinning. That's the skill I want you to learn this month."

"What on Earth is 'pen spinning'?"

"Exactly what it sounds like," Jane said. "Spinning a pen around your fingers. Look it up and learn five different tricks."

Maura nodded, accepting the challenge. "Alright. I want you to learn to speak Italian."

"I can't learn a foreign language in a month," the detective protested.

"I understand that. Learn four phrases that would be useful while on vacation and then one more phrase of your choice."

Jane's eyes narrowed. "Vacation? It was either vacation or the resolution, not both."

"I thought it was both," Maura replied, "But in any case, I'm not planning on taking you to Italy this year. It's always good to start preparing for the future, though."

Jane considered Maura's choice. Learning to speak five phrases in Italian wouldn't actually be all that hard. Although her parents had rarely spoken Italian, her grandparents had immigrated to the United States from Italy when they were young, and Jane had heard the language spoken frequently when she was a child. "The fifth phrase can be anything I want?"

"Yes, but you're going to have to tell me what you're saying, so I'd appreciate it if it wasn't completely obscene."

Jane grinned at her friend. "Alright, I'll learn to speak some Italian. What do I have to eat?"

"A spinach salad."

"Oh come on Maura. I hate spinach."

"It won't be that bad. I know a place that makes a spinach salad you'll love."

"Careful Maura," Jane grumbled. "You don't want to give yourself hives."

"I'm not lying. We'll go there for lunch next week."

Jane grimaced, but nodded her head in acceptance. From what she vaguely recalled, spinach salad usually involved hard boiled eggs, bits of bacon, and sometimes bacon dressing. She'd be able to eat one small spinach salad. "Fine, and for your special January meal, I want you to eat a fried bologna sandwich."

"A what?"

"Don't worry," Jane said, fighting back a smirk at the thought of Maura's reaction when she had her first bite of the fried bologna goodness. "I'll explain what it is when I make it for you." She knew full well that Maura would look up the sandwich on the internet when she got home and would be dreading the thought of eating it the moment she saw it. '_We may not even make it to February with this stupid resolution_.'

Knowing that she had no alternative but to go along with Jane's choice, Maura nodded. "A fried bologna sandwich it is." She extended her hand to Jane to complete the deal.

Jane hesitated for a moment. "So do you really want to go on vacation together?"

"Of course."

Jane considered the idea for a few moments. She knew if she protested, Maura would probably agree to drop the issue and would never bring it up again. After all, the medical examiner had already gotten Jane to agree to the resolution. If Jane were honest with herself, though, she'd have to admit that the idea of spending a vacation somewhere with Maura actually did sound like a great idea. "Alright," she said at last.

Decision made, Jane took Maura's hand in her own and shook it briefly. When Maura tried to release the detective's hand, however, Jane held on. "You're not taking me anywhere for vacation."

"I don't understand. You just agreed to go on vacation with me."

"I agreed that I will take vacation time, and that I will go someplace with you. But you are not _taking_ me on vacation. We'll go someplace that I can afford."

"Jane–"

"No, Maura, I mean it," Jane said, cutting the other woman off before she could voice any protest. "You want us to get out of our comfort zones, fine. But letting you pay for me to go on some extravagant vacation that costs more than I make in six months is too much. I could never be…well I could never be comfortable with something like that."

Maura smiled her acceptance. "Alright. We'll come up with someplace that we can both agree on that is within your budget. Is it a deal?"

"It's a deal."


	2. Epiphany

**AN: So I've been dealing with a massive cold for the last week and a half and have been in Las Vegas for the past several days on a business trip, and strangely enough, as it turns out, neither of these situations are particularly conducive to writing. Stupid hotel wants me to give them a kidney to pay for wi-fi in my room, but I figured out I can use the meeting wi-fi for free to upload a chapter, so yay!**

* * *

**Epiphany**

"You got extra cheese and extra pepperoni on my half, right?" Jane asked, pulling out two plates from the cupboard and placing them on Maura's kitchen island.

"No. I got extra pepperoni, but not extra cheese," Maura replied, as she deposited the pizza box next to the plates. She walked over to her wine cabinet and began looking over the available options. "It's bad enough to add an increased risk of high blood pressure from all the salt in the pepperoni. I'm not going to add an increased risk of raising your cholesterol from the cheese too."

Jane opened Maura's fridge. "You owe me both after that salad," she grumbled, searching for a beer.

"The salad wasn't that bad, Jane," Maura replied distractedly, preoccupied with selecting a bottle of wine to accompany her meal.

Jane shut the refrigerator door forcefully. "Not that bad?" she exclaimed incredulously. "There was no bacon dressing, no bits of bacon, and no egg."

"I never said there would be," Maura replied, not understanding the other woman's grievance. Decision made on the evening's refreshment, she pulled out a bottle of Pinot Noir and turned around to face her friend. "All I said was that we were going out for a spinach salad."

"Exactly!" Jane shot back, a triumphant note in her voice. She used the bottle opener hanging on the side of the fridge to open her beer and then took a long drink. "Spinach salad is supposed to have bacon bits and egg in it."

"Spinach salad is supposed to have _spinach_ in it," Maura corrected her friend. "Anything else is based on the chef's imagination and inspiration."

"'Imagination and…,' Jane sputtered indignantly. "It had _strawberries_ in it, Maura. And oranges…and kiwi! Who the hell puts kiwi in a salad?"

Maura heaved a long suffering sigh. She'd heard nothing but complaints from Jane ever since the salad in question had been placed in front of the detective at lunch that afternoon. The medical examiner opened a drawer and took out a corkscrew. With practiced ease, she began to open the wine. "You like strawberries and oranges–"

"NOT on salad!" Jane practically growled.

"And you could have pushed the kiwi to the side," Maura continued unfazed, uncorking the bottle.

Jane stopped in mid retort. "Wait…what? I thought I had to eat all of it. Why didn't you tell me I could skip the kiwi?"

Maura shrugged negligently, while she poured a glass of wine for herself. "You never asked," she pointed out, struggling to hold back a smile.

Jane's eyes narrowed. "You think that's funny?"

Maura coughed to cover up a laugh. "I don't find it 'unfunny,'" she admitted. The medical examiner pushed the pizza box towards the other woman, before taking a sip of her wine. "It was one meal out of the entire month, Jane. You'll be fine, even without extra cholesterol on your pizza."

In response, the detective opened the box and grabbed a piece of pizza. Locking eyes with Maura, she folded the slice in half and took an enormous bite.

Maura shook her head in exasperation and crossed her arms over her chest. "Slow down," she admonished, her lips thinning into a grim line. "I'm not going to save you if you choke."

Jane washed part of her food down with a healthy chug of beer, and then stuffed even more pizza into her mouth. "Yeah you will," she mumbled confidently.

Maura arched an eyebrow at her friend. "You sound certain about that."

It took several seconds for Jane to finish all the food she had in her mouth. "I am," she said. She put another slice on her plate and moved to sit down at the kitchen island. "You need me," she finished with a wink and a cheeky grin.

Jane's sudden flash of good humor momentarily caught the medical examiner off guard, but almost immediately she found herself smiling back at her friend for two completely different reasons. First, she realized the detective wasn't actually all that upset about what she had had to eat for lunch. Jane's tirade about the spinach salad had mainly been for the sake of appearance to preserve her image as someone who only consumed completely unhealthy food. Second, the blonde had to admit that her friend was right; Maura definitely needed Jane in her life.

For the longest time, Maura had believed that she was destined to go through life surrounded only by casual acquaintances and work colleagues. Having never had a best friend or even particularly close friends growing up, she had seen nothing unusual about such an arrangement. She had even managed to make herself believe that she wasn't missing out on anything important without close friends and family surrounding her. After all, it was hard to miss something that she had never really had.

But then she had met Jane: stubborn, impulsive, kind, amazing Jane. And meeting Jane had changed everything for Maura.

Of course, their friendship hadn't happened overnight. Maura had been far too socially awkward when they had first met to have been capable of such a thing. But from the moment that Dr. Isles, Chief Medical Examiner, had been formally introduced to Detective Rizzoli, newest member of the BPD homicide unit, Maura had found herself drawn to Jane in a way that she had never been drawn to anyone else before. The raven-haired Italian had filled a hole inside of her that Maura hadn't even realized existed, and the friendship they had formed had become the most important relationship Maura had ever had. The simple truth was that she honestly couldn't imagine what she would do if Jane were no longer a part of her life.

"Yeah, well don't push it," Maura replied with mock sternness, as she placed a slice of pizza on her plate and moved to sit down beside her friend. She took a small bite and watched as Jane continued to devour her second piece. Realizing that the only possible way to slow the other woman down was to engage her in conversation, Maura asked the first thing that came into her mind. "Have you learned to speak any Italian yet?" she asked, not really expecting the other woman to say yes.

Jane, however, surprised her. "As a matter of fact, I've learned two phrases," she said, pushing the food in her mouth to the side so that she could speak. "Want to hear them?"

"Of course," Maura replied, delighted that at least with respect to the matter of learning new skills, Jane was showing actual interest and initiative.

Jane swallowed her food and then cleared her throat. _"Dove si trova la stazione di polizia?" _she said slowly and carefully.

Maura regarded her friend with a look of disbelief. "Really? 'Where's the police station?' That's the first thing you decided to learn how to say?"

Jane looked at Maura in surprise. "How did you know what I said?"

"For one thing, I speak French, and Italian is fairly close. For another, '_stazione di polizia_' isn't exactly hard to figure out. Honestly, Jane, out of every phrase you could have chosen to learn, that's the one you picked?"

Jane's grin was not the least bit apologetic. "Hey, you never know what might happen on vacation," the detective replied. "Want to hear the second phrase I learned?"

Maura sighed in resignation. "Probably not, but let me hear it anyway."

Jane sat up perfectly straight and composed her features into a mask of complete seriousness._ "Dov'è la toilette?"_

Maura poked the inside of her cheek with her tongue and counted to three before speaking. _"_Let me guess. 'Where's the bathroom?'"

"Yup," Jane replied, her eyes gleaming with amusement. "You can't possibly disagree with the importance of that phrase."

Maura closed her eyes and drew in a slow, deep breath. Technically, she couldn't fault Jane's choices. After all, they were phrases that could in fact be useful on vacation. It was just that she had expected the other woman to take their New Year's resolution more seriously, and by extension, take their agreement to try to make positive changes in their lives and move out of their comfort zones more seriously as well. It was obvious, though, that as usual, Jane was choosing to fight all efforts to try to improve herself, while taking advantage of the chance to needle Maura and try to get under her skin.

As tempting as it was to be frustrated by the fact that Jane was clearly messing with her, though, Maura couldn't find it in her to be upset. It was in Jane's very makeup to mock and ridicule, and when all else failed, use sarcasm as a way of protecting herself when challenged. Maura had essentially thrown down the gauntlet and dared the detective to try to change part of who she was. It was only natural that Jane's first reaction would be to resist as strongly as she could. Maura remained hopeful, though, that if she was patient, Jane would eventually come around and see the resolution not as a challenge to be defeated, but rather an opportunity to be embraced.

"_Parfois, vous êtes un enfant idiot, mais je ne sais pas ce que je ferais sans toi,_" Maura said affectionately.

Jane had been about to take another bite of her pizza, but she paused in mid motion when she heard Maura's comment. The detective's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What was that?"

Maura smiled and reached out to place her hand lightly on the detective's forearm. "I said I like you," she answered, deliberately "paraphrasing" her statement.

Jane continued to watch the other woman carefully. "I'm pretty sure I heard the word 'idiot' in there."

"I definitely did not say 'idiot,'" Maura replied solemnly, deliberately pronouncing the word with an American accent so that her denial was not an actual lie.

The knowing gleam in the detective's eyes told the medical examiner that Jane was well aware of what Maura had done, but was choosing to let it pass. "So I've learned two of my five phrases. What about you? How's the pen spinning coming along?"

Maura shrugged and grimaced slightly. "I've found several websites that identify various tricks. It seems like a rather pointless activity though."

Jane took a long pull on her beer. "And have you learned any of those tricks yet?" she asked innocently.

Maura wasn't fooled. She could see the smug expression on Jane's face, and it confirmed what Maura had suspected for the last couple of days: that Jane had intentionally chosen a ridiculous skill for her to learn in an attempt to annoy her. Not wanting to give her friend the satisfaction of objecting, Maura simply filed the fact away to deal with at a later time. "Not yet."

"You're falling behind, Maura," Jane taunted. "I've already learned two phrases. Don't forget, five tricks or the resolution is off."

Knowing that her failure was exactly what the detective was hoping for, Maura waved her hand confidently. "Don't worry," she replied. "I'll learn them."

"Well good luck with that," Jane said, the tone of her voice making it clear she was certain that Maura would fail. She took one last bite of her second piece of pizza and then dropped the remaining crust onto her plate. For a few seconds, she studied the pizza box thoughtfully, and then shook her head slightly, apparently deciding that for the moment at least, two pieces made enough of a statement regarding her disdain for her lunch.

Hunger sated at least for the time being, Jane turned to look around Maura's home. "So you took all your Christmas decorations down yesterday while I was stuck at the precinct wrapping up the D'Amato case?"

Maura picked up both of their plates and began walking over to the trash. "Yes, I did. When I was a child, my mother was adamant that Christmas decorations had to come down by Epiphany, so it just seems wrong to me to see them up any longer."

Jane watched as Maura tossed the uneaten crusts into the garbage and then placed the plates in the dishwasher. "The lights are still up on your house, though. I thought the guys you hired to take away the tree were going to take care of those too."

"That was the plan, but the service I hired wasn't able to get over here yesterday. They're backed up because of the storm last Thursday. They won't be here until later this week to take the lights down."

Jane's brow lifted questioningly. "Then what happened to your tree?"

Noticing that Jane's beer was almost gone, Maura walked over to the fridge. "It was getting too dry for me to be comfortable having it in the house any longer, so Tommy hauled it away for me."

Maura pulled out a beer for the detective and then opened it for her. As she turned to face her friend, she immediately noticed the irritated expression on the other woman's face. "How did that happen?" Jane asked tersely.

Maura simply shrugged as she handed Jane her beer, and then sat down beside her again. "I mentioned my concern to Angela while we were having coffee yesterday morning, and she called Tommy and asked him to come over and take care of it."

Jane shook her head, obviously not happy with the medical examiner's answer. "Ma shouldn't have done that," she grumbled, before taking a long drink.

"Why not?"

"Because you don't need Tommy hanging around here making a nuisance of himself," Jane replied, her attention focused intently on her bottle of beer.

The medical examiner studied her friend in thoughtful silence. She knew that Jane was sensitive about the idea of Maura and Tommy spending any time together, particularly when that time was spent together alone. Jane had told Maura that she was worried about her reckless, unreliable brother taking advantage of her friend's generous nature. Maura, however, knew that that wasn't Jane's real concern. Jane was afraid that her youngest brother might try to make a move on Maura, and that Maura might not reject his advance.

On the one hand, Maura could understand Jane's apprehension. After all, if Tommy hadn't been related to Jane, he would certainly have been a possible "short-term" romantic interest for Maura. He was tall, good-looking, and despite his past history of troubles, he was a decent guy with a good heart. In addition, Maura strongly suspected that Tommy would have no interest in any type of serious, long term relationship with her, which was frankly the way that she preferred her sexual relationships to work. Objectively, all things being equal, Tommy would actually make a perfect lover for a few weeks or even months.

But all things weren't equal. Tommy wasn't just "some guy," he was her best friend's brother. Getting involved in a purely sexual relationship with Jane's brother would at best be ridiculously awkward for everyone involved, and at worst, could easily destroy her relationship with Jane. Since that was a risk Maura would never be willing to take, there was no possible scenario under which she would consider having sex, or for that matter even kissing, Tommy.

Maura had of course explicitly told Jane that she had no intention of becoming involved with her brother. Despite this, the detective remained so anxious about the topic every time it came up, that Maura had begun to wonder if there was some other reason behind her friend's sensitivity. Maura had painstakingly considered and subsequently discarded countless theories for Jane's behavior for months, until she finally found herself left with only one plausible explanation: the detective's attitude and behavior were far more consistent with someone who was feeling _jealous_ rather than merely protective.

The major problem with this explanation, of course, was that as far as Maura was "officially" aware, Jane had no interest in her or any other woman. As time continued to go by, however, Maura found herself wondering if that particular fact was actually true. There had been more than a few times over the last several months when Maura had been all but certain that she had observed Jane "noticing" other women, including on a few occasions, Maura herself. Of course, the medical examiner couldn't be absolutely certain about what she had seen, and even if Jane had been looking at other women, it was always possible that there was a perfectly good, completely innocent explanation for her actions. Still, Maura would be almost willing to swear that there had been times when she had detected a hunger in Jane's eyes when looking at an attractive woman that couldn't be explained as anything less than pure desire.

Having been attracted to both men and women for as long as she could remember, Maura certainly wasn't bothered by the idea that her best friend might be attracted to women. Truth be told, Maura had found herself entertaining thoughts of what it would be like to cross the line between friends and lovers with the beautiful homicide detective on more than one occasion. But unless she was absolutely certain that Jane was interested in women, Maura wouldn't even consider raising the issue.

Knowing that there were simply too many barriers to get past before the subject could ever even be broached, Maura did what she always did at time like this and dismissed the issue from her mind and instead focused on Jane's concerns regarding Tommy. "He wasn't hanging around making a nuisance of himself," the medical examiner explained patiently. "He came over, helped Angela and me with the Christmas decorations, and then took the tree away to have it composted. That was it."

The tension in Jane's body dissipated noticeably at the mention of her mother. "Ma was here too?" Jane asked, turning to look at her friend.

"The entire time," Maura confirmed.

Jane considered Maura's response for a few moments, and then nodded her head in acceptance. As she did, Maura was once again struck by the fact that it was extremely difficult to see any difference in Jane's behavior between a person who was concerned that her ne'er-do-well brother might hurt her friend, and a person who was jealous of the thought that her brother might become romantically involved with someone in which she herself was interested. Before the blonde could pursue that line of thought, however, Jane spoke up, effectively, and Maura immediately knew, deliberately, changing the subject.

"So how did your date go with Jerry go?"

Seeing no point in challenging Jane on the topic change, Maura simply went with it. "It was very nice, actually. _Gerald_ was a wonderful dinner companion," she replied, correcting Jane on her date's name.

"And where did your wonderful dinner companion take you?"

"Craigie on Main."

Jane's eyes widened and she whistled softly in admiration when she heard the name of one of the top French restaurants in Boston. "Not bad for a first date," she said, obviously impressed. "And afterwards what? Coffee? A movie? A long, insanely cold walk along the Charles?"

"We went to see a movie: _Tim's Vermeer_."

"Never heard of it," Jane replied, as she took a sip of her beer.

"It's a documentary about an inventor by the name of Tim Jenison, who spent five years trying to duplicate the painting techniques of the Dutch painter Johhannes Vermeer.

An indignant look immediately appeared on Jane's face. "Dang it Maura!" she swore, slamming her bottle of beer down onto the kitchen island with a loud thump. "I can't believe you didn't save that movie to see with me!"

A faint smile tugged at the medical examiner's lips. There had been a time when she would not have recognized that Jane was teasing her unless and until the detective had explicitly told her that she was kidding. Now however, Maura was able, at least sometimes, to recognize when the other woman was playing with her. That fact filled her with a small sense of comfort and pride in the knowledge that she understood her friend as well as she did.

"I'm sorry," Maura said feigning contriteness, "I promise that next time I'll check with you first."

"Please do," Jane said archly, as she lifted her bottle to take another drink. "It's a little something I like to call manners."

Maura laughed lightly and then got up to refill her glass of wine. Deciding that two glasses would be enough for the night, she returned the bottle to the cabinet, and then turned back to look at Jane. "Are you done eating or should I put the rest of the pizza in the refrigerator?"

"Fridge is fine."

Maura placed the pizza box in the refrigerator and then glanced around the kitchen. Everything appeared to be in order, so she picked up her glass of wine and took a drink. She turned to look at her friend and was about to ask if she was ready to watch the movie, when Jane looked up and cleared her throat. "I'm glad you had a good time," the detective said, her tone quiet and sincere. "Gerald sounds like the kind of person someone like you should be dating."

Maura tilted her head to the side, a quizzical expression on her features. "Someone like me? What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, honestly not certain how she should take the other woman's statement.

Jane shrugged and focused her attention on her beer. "You know, someone smart, classy, kind…beautiful," she replied, picking at the label on the bottle. "You're special, Maura. You shouldn't be wasting your time spending it with someone ordinary."

Maura knew that ostensibly, Jane was talking about her brother. After all, they had been speaking about Tommy right before they began talking about Gerald, and Jane had on more than one occasion made it clear that her youngest brother was not good enough for the medical examiner. But there was something about the way Jane's shoulders were slumped, how she refused to meet Maura's eyes, the bittersweet note in her voice that made Maura think that maybe this wasn't really about Tommy…that maybe this was about Jane not believing that she was good enough for Maura. Unfortunately, even if her suspicions were right, Maura couldn't be certain whether Jane simply didn't believe she was worthy of Maura as a _friend_, or as a _lover_.

Maura walked over to stand beside the other woman. She reached down and took Jane's right hand in her own, and waited patiently for her friend to look up at her. It took several moments, but eventually the detective lifted her head so that she could meet the blonde's gaze. "I'm not," Maura said softly.

Jane's brow furrowed slightly. "Not what?" she asked.

"I'm not wasting my time with someone ordinary. As a matter of fact, I'd say that I spend most of my time with someone rather extraordinary."

Jane entwined her fingers with Maura's and squeezed lightly, silently acknowledging that she recognized the meaning behind the medical examiner's words. Slowly, a smile tipped up one corner of her mouth. "So what movie are we stuck with now that 'Tim's Veneer' is off the list?"

Maura laughed and shook her head. She knew that Jane was again deliberately changing the topic, but since she also knew that the detective was doing so because she was generally uncomfortable dealing with serious emotional issues, she decided it was best to simply accept it again. "_Shakespeare in Love_."

"Wow," Jane said, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she released her grip on Maura's hand. "That sounds like it might be just as good as 'Tim's Veneer.'"

"It seemed like a logical choice," Maura replied.

"Uh huh. And what logic would that be?"

"Last night was Twelfth Night. From what I understand, the movie references Shakespeare's play _Twelfth Night_ on several different occasions."

"Oh yeah," Jane said rolling her eyes. "That's totally logical."

"Says the person who watches a movie set at Christmas every New Year's Day."

"It's tradition," Jane growled in mock annoyance. "Show some respect."

Maura laughed as she got up and walked into the living room. Placing her glass of wine down on the coffee table, she picked up the remote, turned on the TV, and then pressed the button to get to her Amazon Prime account. Jane followed her friend into the living room, settled down into one corner of the couch, and watched while Maura moved through the various menus to find the movie. "So," Jane asked. "Is this a documentary about Shakespeare's life?"

"No, it's a romantic comedy," Maura replied, pleased with herself for again knowing that Jane was teasing her.

"Ahh, good, because the only thing that could possibly be better than Shakespeare, is a romantic comedy about Shakespeare."

Seeing the title _Shakespeare in Love_ appear onscreen, Maura simply ignored Jane's comment and started the movie. She placed the remote back on the coffee table, picked up her glass of wine, and then sat down on the couch beside her friend. Almost instantly, Jane moved to accommodate the medical examiner. Maura automatically leaned back against the detective, and Jane moved to rest her arm casually around Maura's shoulders. The entire process took place without either woman saying a word, or in any way questioning the act itself. It was, Maura suddenly realized, simply the way they always ended up when they watched a movie. Sometimes it took a while to get here, such as last week when they had been arguing over the resolutions and the remote. But for longer than she could remember, watching a movie with Jane had consisted of cuddling together on the couch, or at least, it did whenever they were alone.

Maura shifted in Jane's embrace to get more comfortable and allowed her head to fall back against the detective's shoulder. "So how much of all that growling and whining about lunch earlier was just for show?"

"Hmmm," Jane murmured thoughtfully, "I'm not sure." She took a sip of beer and continued to watch the opening credits of the movie. "Maybe 70…75%" she finally said, a hint of laughter in her voice.

Maura grinned but remained silent. She had her victory. There was no reason to push any further.

"Don't make me eat kiwi again," Jane suddenly said after nearly a minute had passed.

Maura considered the other woman's statement thoughtfully for a few moments, before turning around to look at her friend. "So does that mean you would be willing to eat that salad again if they left the kiwi off?"

Jane shrugged. "I guess, but give me a couple weeks."

Maura turned back around so that Jane wouldn't see the knowing smile that was beginning to spread across her face. Jane didn't want to admit that she might actually like the salad as long as the one ingredient she had truly objected to was kept off, but that was perfectly fine with the medical examiner. If pretending that she was simply tolerating the salad and not actually enjoying eating something that was good for her was what it took to get her friend to eat healthier, Maura was more than happy to play along. "Ok," she agreed. "We'll go back sometime next month."

"Alright," Jane replied in a tone that implied she didn't really care one way or the other.

The two women continued to watch the credits of the movie in silence, before Jane suddenly spoke up again. "Hey, does that mean–"

"No," Maura replied, cutting the other woman off before she could finish, not bothering to try to hide her amusement. "It won't count as your one healthy thing to try for the month."

"Damn," Jane swore quietly. "Well, I had to try."

"I know. I'd have been a stunned if you hadn't."

* * *

_Parfois, vous êtes un enfant idiot, mais je ne sais pas ce que je ferais sans toi._

Translation: Sometimes you are a silly child, but I don't know what I'd do without you.


	3. Ditch Your New Year's Resolutions Day

**AN: So I feel compelled to note that this story is sort of a New Year's Resolution for me as well as for as Maura and Jane, as I'm ****trying out a couple different things in my writing. First. I'm trying to include shorter chapters in between the longer ones (yeah this chapter is still 3,800 but I'm getting there :) because I always seem to end up with chapters that are at least 4 to 5 k in length, and I'd like to have chapters that occasionally just deal with "quick" issues'. But more importantly, this entire story will be told pretty much exclusively from the perspective of Jane and Maura, meaning for example that while Maura may comment about a date she had with someone, or Jane may talk about how she's going to have a talk with her brother, the story itself will only "show" the conversations and relationship between Maura and Jane. Any other "characters" will normally be relegated to someone who had something to say in another room or previous to the scene. **

**As always, your comments are appreciated. Ah hell, to be honest, they're like a freaking drug that makes me want to do nothing but write write write :)**

**Ditch You New Year's Resolutions Day **

"Alright, before I start making your sandwich, do you know what today is?" Jane asked.

Maura frowned slightly, confused by the question. "It's Friday, January 17th."

"True, but it's also 'Ditch New Year's Resolutions Day'," Jane replied.

Maura rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Why am I not surprised that you know that?" she asked dryly.

Jane's face split into a wide grin. "Probably because you know me better than anyone else."

"Mmm hmm. And let me guess. You think I should 'ditch' our resolution."

Jane painted her most sincere expression on her face. "I'm only thinking of you here, Maura," the detective said. "We're over half way through January. You still haven't learned one pen spinning trick yet, so we both know the resolution is going to be called off at the end of the month anyway. At least if you abandon the resolution now, you won't have to eat a fried bologna sandwich too."

Maura nodded thoughtfully, and then rose from her seat to walk over to where she had deposited her purse when the two women had first arrived in Jane's apartment. "That's a generous offer," she said as she opened up her bag. "Especially since you've already learned your new skill and eaten the food I picked out for you."

Jane ordered herself to remain cool and not allow the glee she was feeling to show. She was about to win this stupid resolution/contest. "It's ok. The salad wasn't that bad, and learning a few Italian phrases wasn't that hard."

For a few moments, Maura simply looked at Jane with a grateful smile on her face. Then, without a word, she reached into her purse and pulled out an expensive looking pen. Setting her bag aside, she positioned the writing instrument between the fingers of her right hand.

"Thumbaround," Maura said calmly, as the pen flipped around her thumb several times in rapid succession. She began walking back over to where Jane was standing. "Fingerpass," she said, the pen spinning around and moving back and forth through her fingers. Coming to a stop beside the counter that separated Jane's kitchen and living room, she rested her forearm against the edge with her palm up, allowing Jane a clear view of what she was doing. "Charge," she continued, twirling the pen around and around between the tips of her middle and ring fingers. "Sonic," she said, spinning the pen rapidly from a starting position between the middle and ring finger to an end position between the middle and index finger, and then repeating the motion several more times.

With a superior smirk, Maura placed the pen down on the counter.

Jane quietly picked up the pen and studied it for a few moments, and then looked at her friend. "That was only four."

"I'm still working on 'Shadow.' "I'll have it by the end of the month," Maura said confidently.

Jane's lips quirked wryly. She had to admit, she was actually pretty impressed by Maura's skills, as well as the fact that the blonde had known exactly what she was trying to do. "I didn't have you fooled for even a second, did I?"

Maura laughed warmly and richly. "Like you said, I know you better than anyone. Now make the sandwich, and let's get this over with."

Jane put the pen back down on the counter and walked over to turn on the stove. She had lost the battle, but she could still win the war. She had the perfect stupid skill for the medical examiner to learn next month, and she had plenty of time to come up with something worse to eat than a fried bologna sandwich. Maura would give up by the end of February; victory was merely being delayed a little bit.

The detective placed a pan on top of the stove and then threw in some butter. "Really?" Maura asked, her voice brimming with distaste. "Does it have to be butter? Couldn't you at least use olive oil or canola oil?"

"I could, but it wouldn't be nearly as tasty," Jane replied, biting her lip to keep from grinning. While she waited patiently for the butter to finish melting, she made a cut in the bologna from the middle to one outside edge. "You have to score it so that it stays flat when you fry it."

"Good to know," Maura replied. She sat down at the counter to watch her friend. "I'd hate to be embarrassed by curled up bologna when I make this for my mother the next time she visits."

Jane chuckled and then placed the bologna in the pan. She turned to look at the medical examiner. "So what would you prefer on the bread? Mustard, or mayonnaise?"

"I honestly couldn't have less of a preference," Maura replied.

"Alright, then we'll go half and half. One side mayo, one side mustard. That way you can decide which you like best."

"That's very thoughtful of you," Maura said. She watched Jane spread mustard across one half of a slice of bread and then apply the same treatment to a second. "So what are you doing tomorrow night?"

Jane began spreading mayo on the other halves of each of the pieces of bread. "Why?"

The medical examiner shrugged and leaned back in her chair. "I thought if you weren't doing anything, we could go out for drinks."

Jane looked at Maura in mild confusion. "I thought you had a date with Gerald."

"I did," Maura agreed, "But he has to go to Hartford tomorrow to depose a witness in an upcoming case, and he won't be back until late Saturday night."

"But everything is still going ok with you two?" Jane asked, as she returned the mayonnaise and mustard to the fridge.

"Everything's…fine," Maura replied, her voice flat and noncommittal.

Jane closed the door to the fridge and looked at her friend skeptically. "That doesn't sound particularly convincing."

"Everything _is_ fine," Maura said with a negligent shrug. "But I was hoping for something more than just 'fine' between us physically," she continued meaningfully.

"Oh," Jane said, immediately grasping Maura's not so subtle point. "Sorry to hear he's not rocking your world," she finished lamely, hoping that Maura would end the topic there.

Her hopes were not to be granted. "Don't misunderstand me. It's not as if I haven't reached orgasm with him," Maura explained as matter-of-factly as if she were discussing the stock market or the weather forecast. "But his technique is fairly basic and lacking in imagination. I prefer a lover who's more than merely 'competent.'"

"God, Maura," Jane groaned. "Did I really need to hear that?"

"I thought it best to be clear," Maura replied with a straight face, but Jane could hear the hint of teasing in her voice.

"Did you now?" Jane asked through clenched teeth.

"I did," Maura confirmed sweetly. "And you never answered my question."

"What question?" Jane asked, no longer able to remember what they had been talking about before Maura had given her a status report on Gerald's bedroom capabilities.

"Do you want to go out for drinks with me tomorrow night?" Maura repeated patiently.

"Oh," Jane felt a moment of unease. She had plans for the following night…plans that involved a woman that the detective had no idea how to explain to her friend. "No…I'm…I'm not really up for going out tomorrow night."

"OK," Maura said slowly, obviously a little puzzled by Jane's response. "We could stay in if you'd prefer. We could get take out or I could cook something."

"No, it's not that…it's just…" It was if she were slowly but inexorably being pulled into quicksand, Jane thought to herself. Maura wasn't going to just let this pass. If Jane didn't figure out a way to stop this and stop this quickly, at the end of the conversation, she was either going to have to tell Maura that she was dating a woman, or she was going to have to tell a direct lie to her best friend. "Actually, I have a date," the detective admitted, not having any idea what else to say, just desperate to buy herself some more time to think.

Maura blinked in shock, but recovered quickly. "That's great," she said, obviously pleased to hear that her friend had met someone who interested her enough to actually agree to go out with them. "Who's the date with?"

Jane couldn't blame the other woman for being momentarily caught off guard. After all, Jane hadn't mentioned dating anyone to Maura in almost five months, which was, not coincidentally, the last time that Jane had gone out on a date with a guy. The detective shook her head negatively, and then turned around and focused her attention on the bologna frying in the pan. "It's no one you know."

Maura laughed lightly. "Alright, but presumably your date has a name."

Jane's tension rose a few more percentage points. She hesitated for a moment before replying. "Erin Richardson."

Maura leaned forward on her elbows, a delighted smile on her lips. "So how did you and Aaron meet?"

Jane knew that Maura had automatically assumed that Erin was a man, and she realized that she had a chance to get out of this without revealing Erin's actual gender. She just had to play this right. "I was taking Jo for a walk and Erin stopped me and asked for directions," Jane said carefully. "We started talking, one thing led to another, and the next thing I knew, Erin was asking me out to dinner."

"Really?" Maura said, her brow furrowing slightly in obvious surprise. "You accepted a request for a date from a perfect stranger?"

"Well I did run a background check first," Jane admitted sheepishly.

Maura got up from her seat to walk over to the refrigerator. "So what does Aaron do for a living?" she asked, as she opened the door and looked inside.

Jane turned and looked at her friend. Maura was facing away from her, trying to find something in the fridge. She began to respond, to give the medical examiner a non-committal, vague, deliberately misleading answer that would preserve her secret. In a sudden flash of awareness, however, Jane realized that she didn't want to do that. She couldn't keep doing this. She couldn't keep worrying that at some point, she was going to say the wrong thing and give her secret away. She was tired of hiding this part of who she was from her best friend.

"She's a visiting history professor from NYU," Jane said, relieved that her voice actually sounded reasonably steady.

Maura immediately turned around to stare at her friend. "You're dating someone from New York City?"

For a split second, Jane thought that Maura had missed the fact that the detective had said "she." As she continued to hold Maura's gaze, however, the warmth, understanding, and absolute acceptance she could see in Maura's eyes told Jane more clearly than words ever could that her friend had heard exactly what she had said. Maura had heard, and she was completely unfazed by the fact that Jane was dating a woman.

"She's not actually a New Yorker," Jane said, doing her best to speak normally. "She's originally from Ohio."

"Oh," Maura said, tilting her head slightly as she considered Jane's explanation. Eventually, she slowly nodded in acceptance. "I guess that's ok then."

Feeling her emotions threatening to overwhelm her, Jane turned away from her friend. She picked up a spatula and flipped the bologna over as she struggled to regroup. She heard Maura pull something out of the fridge before shutting the door and walk back over to sit at the counter. She hadn't realized just how scared she had been to admit the truth out loud to someone else, but as usual, Maura had managed to make everything okay.

"Thanks," Jane eventually said gruffly, her head still lowered.

Several seconds of silence followed, before the medical examiner finally spoke. "I love you, you know," Maura said quietly, her voice filled with affection.

Jane swallowed to get past the tightness in her throat. She glanced over her shoulder to look at her friend. "I know," she said. "I love you too."

Maura's lips curved into a warm smile. "I know."

Jane drew in a deep breath and then slowly let it out again, releasing the remaining tension in her body. She turned to pick up the piece of cheese she had placed on the counter and began to unwrap it. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a look of unmistakable horror appear on Maura's face at the sight of the processed cheese slice. "I was just going to use one piece," she said, trying to maintain a solemn expression, but unable to keep a grin from appearing on her face. "I can use two if you prefer."

"No, one piece will be fine," Maura assured the detective. She took a sip from the bottle of water she had taken from the fridge. "So how long have you and Erin been dating?" she asked, her voice reflecting nothing more than honest, genuine curiosity.

Jane shrugged. "Not long. I met her right after Christmas, but we've only been out a few times."

"Is she the first woman you've ever dated?"

Jane felt a sinking feeling in her gut. She had managed to successfully navigate one pitfall, but now she was faced with another. She was going to have to admit to Maura that this wasn't a recent development. She had kept this a secret from her best friend for months, and now she was going to have to admit that fact. Maura was going to feel incredibly hurt that Jane hadn't trusted her with this. "No, I've been dating women since last March," she confessed.

Maura nodded absently, a pensive expression on her face. "Are you still dating men too?"

It was a question Jane had been asking herself for months, and she had been unable to come up with an answer. When she heard the question coming from Maura, however, she suddenly realized that she did in fact know the truth. "No, I'm not," Jane replied.

Seeing Maura deep in thought, apparently realizing what Jane had kept from her, the detective's guilt began to overwhelm her. "I'm sorry," Jane said in a rush, stepping away from the stove and over to the counter. "I didn't think about how you would feel–."

"No," Maura interrupted quietly but firmly. "You don't owe me any apologies."

"I should have told you sooner–"

Maura reached out and gently took her friend by the hand, effectively silencing the detective. "You told me when you were ready to tell me," she said, her thumb stroking the back of Jane's hand lightly. "You were under no obligation to tell me any sooner than that."

Jane drew in a shaky breath. Once again, Maura had managed to make everything alright. She closed her eyes briefly and squeezed Maura's hand. Slowly, she opened her eyes to look at her friend. "You're the first person I've told," she said softly.

Maura nodded perceptively, as she tightened her grip on the detective's hand. "Are you worried about telling your family?"

"I'm not worried about telling Frankie or Tommy, but Ma…" Jane shook her head. "I don't know how she's going to react."

A small, reassuring smile appeared on Maura's lips. "Give her some credit, Jane. She didn't have any problem with the relationship between Detective Frost's mother and her girlfriend."

Jane chuckled darkly. "Yeah, but neither of them were her only daughter."

Jane released her grip on Maura's hand, straightened up, and walked back over to the stove so that she could put the cheese on the bologna. Maura watched her friend for a few moments before speaking again. "She'll be ok with it."

Jane exhaled heavily. "You can't be sure of that."

"Yes I can."

Jane turned to face the medical examiner. "How?"

"Because you're her only daughter, and I know she loves you." Seeing that the detective remained unconvinced, Maura quickly continued. "It's ok, Jane. I'm not trying to push you. You don't need to talk to her about it before you're ready."

Jane simply nodded. Despite what Maura might believe, Jane was far from convinced that her mother would accept the news easily. She knew at some point she was going to have to tell her family though. To believe otherwise was nothing more than to continue to live in denial, and she was through with that.

Silence filled the room as both women considered everything that had just transpired. After about a half a minute, Jane noticed that the edges of the bologna were nice and crispy, so she turned off the stove and used a spatula to remove the meat from the pan. She carefully placed the bologna on one piece of bread and then with a small flourish dropped the second piece of bread on top. "_Voilà_!" she said with a proud grin, setting the plate in front of her friend. "Would you like some wine to go with your meal?"

The expression on Maura's face as she stared at the sandwich could only be described as something akin to absolute dread. She glanced up at the other woman briefly and shook her head. "The water will do. I'm not wasting a glass of wine on this…thing."

Jane smirked at her friend and gestured at the sandwich. "Alright then. Give it a try."

Maura took another drink of water, and then unfolded her napkin and placed it on her lap. She stared at the sandwich for a few seconds more, clearly psyching herself up, and then picked it up and took a bite. She chewed slowly, her features controlled and practically stoic.

Jane watched her friend in open amusement. "So, what do you think?"

Maura swallowed the food in her mouth and then took a long drink of water. "It's…" Her voice trailed off, as she struggled to find the appropriate words to describe the experience.

"Delicious?" Jane supplied helpfully, seeing her friend unable to come up with a proper descriptor.

"Disgusting," Maura countered, her face finally twisting into a grimace.

Jane laughed and took the sandwich from her friend. She placed it back on the plate and then used a knife to cut the sandwich in half. "I assume you won't mind sharing."

Maura smiled gratefully, although the expression on her face made it clear she was not thrilled with what she still had left to eat.

Jane picked up her half of the sandwich and then walked over to the refrigerator to get a beer. The detective took a long pull from the bottle and then leaned against the fridge. She began to eat her half of the sandwich while watching Maura do the same. Thoughts of the last five minutes raced through her brain. She was beyond relieved about how everything had gone. She had "come out" to her best friend, and Maura had not only accepted the news without batting any eye, she had made it alright that Jane hadn't told her right away. The more she continued to think about Maura's reaction, however, the more Jane realized that she had a question of her own to ask.

Maura continued to slowly eat the sandwich, pausing between each bite to take a long drink of water. When she was down to the last bite, Jane finally spoke. "Have you ever dated a woman before?"

Maura placed the remaining piece of the sandwich on her plate. "As a matter of fact, I have," she replied evenly. "But I don't date women anymore."

Jane's brow furrowed slightly in thought. Maura wasn't offering any explanation for her statement, but her attitude didn't make it seem as if she was bothered by Jane's question either. "Because you aren't attracted to women anymore?" she asked.

An irresistibly devastating grin appeared on Maura's face. "No," she said, as she allowed her gaze to casually slide down Jane's body before rising to meet the detective's again. "I definitely still find women attractive."

The meaning of Maura's words and actions weren't lost on the detective. She felt her heart begin to hammer in her chest as she felt herself flush. Still, Maura's response only made things more confusing. She obviously didn't have a problem with women dating women, so why would she restrict herself to only dating men if she was still attracted to women too?

"Then why…" Jane blurted out, before she realized what she was doing. She felt herself blush even deeper. "I'm sorry. It's none of my business."

"Why don't I date women anymore?" Maura asked quietly.

Unable to think of anything else to say, Jane simply nodded.

The medical examiner smiled reassuringly. "It's ok Jane. It's a fair question. The answer is that I date men because it's easier to date men."

Jane frowned. The meaning behind Maura's "explanation" was completely lost on her. '_Easier to date men'? What the hell is that even supposed to mean?_" On the one hand, Jane supposed that Maura could mean that it was easier to be "straight" than deal with the issues of being perceived as gay, a fact that Jane was more than willing to accept as having at least some truth behind it. Somehow, though, the detective didn't think that that was it. Maura wasn't the kind of person to let fears over what others would think about her dictate who she dated. She had to mean something else by her statement, but for the life of her, Jane couldn't begin to imagine what that might be.

For a few moments, Jane considered simply asking Maura to explain what she had meant. Since she was still just barely getting comfortable with discussing the topic in the first place, though, she decided to simply let the issue go for now. Instead, she would fall back onto what she did best: make a joke, and use humor to avoid directly talking about the situation.

Jane reached out and took the last bite of sandwich off Maura's plate. "So you're saying that you date men because they're in your comfort zone?" Jane asked, a slight grin on her face, as she popped the sandwich into her mouth.

Maura grinned back, acknowledging that Jane had trapped her with her own words. "I guess I do."

Jane's left eyebrow arched high on her forehead. "Strange. I thought we were supposed to be doing things to get us out of our comfort zones."

Maura nodded in agreement. "That was the plan."

"Hmmm," Jane exhaled thoughtfully. "So maybe you should rethink your 'dating only men' philosophy."

Maura laughed lightly and nodded her head. "Maybe I should."


	4. Martin Luther King Jr Day

**AN: Sorry for the way too long time since the last chapter. Fortunately I'll be done with "I Never" in two more chapters and will able to focus solely on this the way I want to fairly soon. The next couple chapters should actually be coming along relatively quickly, since I've already got them both roughed out fairly completely. **

**Thanks for all the kind reviews, faves and follows. I'll do my best to make sure there are no more ridiculously long gaps between posting chapters again in the future. **

* * *

**Martin Luther King Jr. Day**

Maura queued up a selection of classical music and then hit play. She nodded in satisfaction when she heard the first few notes coming through her home sound system and then walked into her kitchen. She had managed to slip out a little early at the end of work in order to prepare for her dinner date that evening with Gerald. The extra time had allowed her to get everything ready for the meal she would be cooking with plenty of time to spare. All she had left to do was pick out a bottle of wine, and the last of the pre-dinner prep work would be complete.

The sound of a knock on the patio door followed by it opening caught her attention. "Maura?" Jane called out as she stepped inside the medical examiner's house. "You home?"

Unlike Maura, Jane had had the day off for Martin Luther King Jr. Day, so the blonde hadn't seen her friend since the detective had left her home after the football game the previous day. "Hey there," Maura said, a genuine smile of happiness lighting up her face. "I didn't expect to see you tonight."

"I know, but I had to run a couple errands and I figured while I was out I'd bring back the casserole dish Ma sent home with me yesterday." The detective leaned against the back of the couch. "What's going on?"

"Gerald's coming over tonight and I'm making dinner," Maura replied.

A chagrined expression appeared on Jane's face and she immediately stood back up. "Sorry, I didn't realize you had a date tonight. I'll go."

Maura waved her hand dismissively and then began to untie her apron. "Don't be silly. Gerald won't be here for another half hour and it won't be time to actually start cooking for a while yet. I was just making certain I had everything ready to go."

"But you need to finish getting ready for your date," Jane protested.

Maura folded her apron and placed it on the top of the kitchen island. She looked down at the dress she was wearing and then back up at her friend. "Actually I am ready, unless you see something that looks wrong?" she asked, turning in a slow circle.

As she came back around to face the other woman, Maura saw the brunette staring at her with eyes that were slightly glazed over. Unable to resist the urge to tease her friend, Maura moved to rest her forearms on the kitchen island and then leaned forward. She was fully aware of exactly what the position was doing for her cleavage, and it took every ounce of self-control she possessed not to grin when she saw Jane's eyes drop down and linger for far longer than any amount of decorum would allow. "So, do you see anything wrong?" Maura asked, deliberately pitching her tone into a more suggestive register.

Jane blinked and slowly raised her gaze to meet Maura's. "No, you look amazing," she said, a noticeable strain in her voice.

Maura straightened up. "So there's no reason for you to go, is there?"

Jane shook her head to clear it and then shrugged, a move Maura suspected was intended to convince them both that the detective had been unaffected by Maura's actions. "Alright if you're sure, I can stay a little longer."

"I'm sure," Maura replied, as she walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. "Between dinner with everyone and the football game afterwards, we barely had two minutes to talk yesterday," she pointed out, handing Jane the bottle. "I never even had a chance to ask how your date went Saturday night."

"It was fine," Jane replied noncommittally, before taking a drink of water and moving to sit down on one of the chairs at the kitchen island.

Maura pursed her lips slightly. She was actually quite certain that Jane's date had gone much better than simply "fine," but she decided not to push things just yet. "Did you enjoy your day off?" the medical examiner asked instead.

"It was fine," the detective said again. "I actually spent most of it cleaning my apartment." Jane perused the various ingredients that were neatly organized on the countertop. "What are you making?"

Maura bit her lip to hide a smile. It wasn't like Jane to be curious about food unless it involved bacon or something equally bad for her health, and she never showed any interest in what Maura was preparing for other people. The only reason the medical examiner could think of for Jane's sudden interest in culinary matters was that she was trying to change the subject, and there was only one reason she could think of that Jane would want to do that. Electing to bide her time for a little longer, Maura answered the question. "Moroccan chicken with a fruit and olive topping, served with couscous."

The detective nodded thoughtfully, as she continued to study the food. Finally she looked up at her friend. "So _not_ fried bologna sandwiches?"

"I don't want to set the bar too high the first time I cook dinner for Gerald," Maura said dryly. "What would I possibly do for an encore after a meal like that?"

"Oh I think we both know what Gerald would want as an encore, and I can't imagine he'd be disappointed by anything you did," Jane said with a smart-ass little grin.

Maura's eyebrow's shot upwards in surprise at the other woman's frank comment. _'Alright, Detective. If you want to play, let's play.'_ "I was actually referring to cooking for him a second time. However, I'm sure you're right. He wouldn't have any complaints, especially if tonight went as well for him as your Saturday night did for you," she smirked.

Jane nearly choked on the water she was drinking. Coughing and sputtering, she held up her hand when Maura tried to approach, indicating that she would be fine but needed a few moments. "What?" she finally managed to rasp out.

Maura's lips twitched in amusement. "Your date with Erin Saturday night. It obviously ended in a satisfying sexual encounter for you."

The detective coughed a few more times and then cleared her throat. "What makes you think that?"

The medical examiner laughed lightly as she sat down beside her friend. "It was fairly obvious," Maura said somewhat smugly. "After all, you were practically glowing yesterday and you were in a ridiculously good mood all day long."

Jane scowled. "So what? You're saying I couldn't just be happy because I was spending time with my friends and family watching a football game?"

"Your mother spent the day telling you that you needed to get a haircut and complaining that you still don't know how to cook properly," Maura observed pointedly. "You only got one cannoli because Sergeant Korsak and Frankie each had four, and your Patriots _lost_ the football game to the Broncos. And yet despite all of that, you were still grinning like a Cheshire cat when you left here, just like you were when you first walked through the door six hours earlier." Maura leaned back in her chair, a confident expression on her face. "Something obviously made you very happy, so give me another reason for that dazzling, indefatigable grin you had on yesterday, and I'll admit that I'm wrong about Saturday night. But just remember, I still recall how devastated you were last year when the Patriots got kicked out of the playoffs, and how you moped around for days afterwards."

Jane took a small drink of water and then placed the bottle down on the island. "Knocked out," she mumbled. "The Patriots were _knocked _out of the playoffs, not _kicked _out."

"Whatever, and you're deflecting," Maura said calmly. "Admit that I'm right, or give me another reason. It's your choice."

Jane let loose a breath that was half frustration, half disbelief. "Ok, ok. I'll admit you're right about how my date ended Saturday, but for the record, that was only _part _of the reason I was in a good mood yesterday."

Maura's brow knit slightly as she tilted her head to the side. "What was the other reason?"

"I'm not telling you," the detective replied, setting her jaw stubbornly.

"Why not?"

"You told me to either admit you were right, or give you another reason. I'm admitting you were right, which means I don't have to give you another reason."

It took Maura a few moments to puzzle through what the other woman had said. "But you want to make sure I know that I'm not completely right about why you were in a good mood?"

"Correct."

Maura crossed her arms and looked at her friend skeptically. "Or alternatively, there is no other reason, and you're just making that up because you don't like to lose and you want to drive me insane."

"That is also _entirely_ possible," Jane admitted with a smirk.

Maura counted to five before replying. "You're really annoying sometimes."

"I know!" the detective agreed, grinning gleefully.

Maura decided to ignore the other woman's juvenile behavior. "So how about providing some details about your date," she said, without a hint of guile.

The detective snorted. "The only 'detail' you're getting is that Erin was definitely more than 'merely competent.'"

Maura's eyes widened slightly in surprise, impressed by the relative boldness of Jane's statement. After all, even if she wasn't actually telling Maura anything specific, she was still clearly admitting that she had enjoyed her night with Erin, which was more than the medical examiner could ever remember Jane saying about any previous romantic encounter. "Fine. Maybe you'll be in more of a mood to share details after your date tonight."

"Ok, how the hell do you know I have a date tonight?" Jane demanded.

Maura laughed at her friend's consternation. "I know you, Jane. You're wearing a brand new shirt–"

"Just because I'm wearing a new shirt doesn't mean–"

"AND you spent your day off from work cleaning your apartment," Maura continued, as if Jane hadn't tried to interrupt. "You're either really worried about something, or you're getting ready for a date that you expect to end in your apartment." Maura looked her friend over speculatively. "You don't seem to be worried about anything," she pointed out evenly.

Jane groaned in defeat. "Alright, _Detective_ Isles, you got me again," she said, holding up her hands in mock surrender. "Erin and I are going to see a late movie, and afterwards I'm planning on asking her to go back to my place."

Maura looked at her friend thoughtfully. In the past, Jane would frequently become completely flustered and would rarely provide any information at all about her dates, no matter how hard Maura tried to elicit information from her. Now, though, the detective was not only openly confirming that her relationship with Erin had progressed to include a sexual component, the brunette was even relaxed enough about that fact to joke about it as well. The realization that Jane seemed more at ease talking about such matters caused decidedly mixed feelings within the medical examiner.

On the one hand, she was happy to see that Jane was finally managing to take the first steps towards moving past the idea that sex was something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. Maura had always found that attitude to be extremely unhealthy, and she was glad that Jane seemed more at ease and able to enjoy a sexual relationship with another person. On the other hand, she wasn't entirely thrilled that it was some relative stranger who had so quickly managed to bring about this change in her friend. Rationally, Maura had known as soon as Jane had told her that she was dating women that at some point, the detective was bound to meet a special woman who would turn out to be what Jane had been looking for all along. Maura just hadn't expected it to happen so quickly, or to bother her quite so much. The medical examiner couldn't help but wonder if there was something special about this new woman in Jane's life to have prompted the changes she was starting to see. The idea rankled her more than it should have.

Maura's phone chirped, indicating an incoming message and interrupting her train of thought. She rose from her chair and walked over to retrieve her phone from her purse. She frowned when she scanned the text.

"Problem?" Jane asked.

Maura shook her head absently as she typed out her response. "Just a message from Susie about some test results I was waiting on. Unfortunately they don't tell us anything useful. So," Maura asked, as she placed her phone down on the desk. "What did you and Erin do on your date Saturday?"

Seeing the disbelieving look on the other woman's face, the medical examiner let out a short laugh. "I meant _before _you had sex…or was it just sex?" she asked, teasingly. She didn't really think Jane would give her any explicit details, but at the same time, she couldn't help but wonder just how far she could push things. Mostly, though, Maura really wanted to learn more about this new woman in Jane's life and the dynamic that existed between her and Jane.

"Honestly, I wasn't even sure that's how the night would end up," Jane admitted. "We had dinner and then went dancing, and things just sort of…progressed," the brunette responded with a slight blush.

Once again, Maura was struck by the difference in her friend. Jane's usual reluctance to discuss intimate activities was certainly still present, of course, but beyond that slight bashfulness, Maura could also see something else. The detective seemed infinitely more comfortable in her own skin, and her hesitance to relate any specific details regarding her last two dates seemed more a result of modesty rather than actual embarrassment, as it had so often seemed in the past.

And once again, Maura found herself fighting off feelings of annoyance that this woman whom Jane hadn't even known for more than a month or so was having such a noticeable influence on her friend.

The medical examiner deliberately expunged the negative thoughts from her mind. "Ahhh, dancing," Maura said, forcing a smile onto her face. "'The vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music.'"

Jane shook her head, a dazed expression on her face. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Maura laughed. "It's a quote from George Bernard Shaw. It just means that dancing is a societal approved mechanism of indicating sexual interest in another person."

Jane rolled her eyes. "You mean it lets you tell someone you think they're hot," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes, '_Giovanni_,' that's exactly what I'm saying," Maura replied, her eyes twinkling with humor. "Dancing is a common precursor to sexual activities. As a matter of fact, it was Gerald's skills on the dance floor that attracted me to him in the first place."

"Gerald's _dance_ skills?" Jane asked skeptically.

"That's right."

"Maura, you were _waltzing_."

"Actually we mainly danced the foxtrot, but yes, we waltzed too."

Jane shook her head dismissively. "Ballroom dancing is not sexy."

"Of course it is."

"Really? You're saying that ballroom dancing gets you hot and bothered?"

Maura pursed her lips. "Come here," she said, gesturing for the other woman to approach.

"Why?"

Maura tapped her foot impatiently. "Jane, please, just come here."

The detective hesitated and then walked over to stand in front of the blonde. "Alright, what?"

"I'm going to show you that ballroom dancing is sexier than you think," Maura said, reaching out for Jane's left hand.

The brunette immediately jerked her hand away and took a step back. "I'm not waltzing."

Maura sighed in exasperation and moved forward. "I'm not asking you to. We don't need to actually dance for me to demonstrate what I'm talking about." The medical examiner held out her hand expectantly. When Jane began to shake her head again in refusal, the blonde allowed a small grin to tug at her lips. "Afraid you'll see I'm right?" she asked, knowing exactly which buttons to push to get the detective to give in.

Jane grimaced and then reluctantly placed her hand in Maura's. "No actual dancing."

"No actual dancing," Maura agreed with mock solemnity, as she placed Jane's left hand on her right shoulder. Maura then took the detective's right hand in her left, palms touching, before finally resting her right hand lightly on the small of Jane's back. The blonde positioned herself so that she was just slightly to Jane's right with only a few inches of space between them.

"Stand up straight, and look into my eyes," Maura instructed quietly, as she drew Jane closer to her.

Jane wavered for a moment and then did as she was told. Maura began to speak, but found herself at a loss for words, as the truth of her situation suddenly hit her. She was holding the best friend she had ever had in her arms. They were standing so close that Maura could feel the heat from the detective's body, and with every breath she took, she was drawing Jane's unique, fragrant scent deep into her lungs. With a flash of insight, Maura realized that her complicated, confusing feelings about Erin weren't so complicated or confusing at all. She was jealous, just not for the reason most people would be under these circumstances.

Maura had known for years that she was attracted to Jane. In truth, it would have been harder to believe that she wasn't attracted to the brunette than that she was. The homicide detective was powerful, gorgeous, caring, and smart, and Maura knew that there was nothing Jane wouldn't do for her if she were to simply ask. But the medical examiner accepted long ago the fact that she would never be able to have anything other than a platonic relationship with Jane, and even now, holding the brunette in her arms, knowing that the detective was attracted to women, that belief remained unchanged. For Jane, dating was a means to an ends, a way of assessing a potential partner to determine if she wanted to make a long term commitment that would ultimately result in marriage. Maura, however, preferred to keep things casual. For her, dating _was_ the "ends," and she had no interest in becoming involved in any kind of traditional, deep romantic relationship. The two of them wanted completely different things from the people that they dated, and they would be doomed from the start if they were to ever try to cross the line from friends to lovers.

Maura wasn't jealous of Erin because she was Jane's lover. Maura was jealous because Erin posed the potential to become everything that Maura was for Jane _in addition_ to being her lover.

The medical examiner had long known that Jane could never be as emotionally close to a man as she was to a woman. The detective had spent her entire life competing with the boys, and that was never going to change. Jane would always approach any relationship with a man with a certain combative attitude, never willing to entirely let down her guard where her deepest emotions were concerned, and always holding part of herself in reserve. So no matter what other feelings Maura might have had about Jane's relationship with Casey, the one thing she had always taken comfort in was that there was a part of Jane's heart that Casey would never be able to reach, a part that belonged to her. And even though there were times when Maura felt ashamed that she received so much pleasure and relief from this fact, in the end, she didn't care. Maura knew that there would never in her life be another person as important to her as Jane. Knowing that Jane needed her, that Casey would never be able to completely replace her, had made it possible for her to deal with Jane's relationship with the army colonel.

But now Jane was dating women, and there was no longer anything that would hold the detective back from creating a bond with one of these women as deep as anything that Maura and Jane shared. Erin could be the person Jane was looking for to create a new life with, and if not Erin, then one of the women who would certainly come after her while Jane tried to find a permanent romantic partner. Even if she and Jane remained as close as they were now, an outcome Maura knew full well was highly unlikely considering how much less time they would inevitably spend together, their friendship would be fundamentally changed. So many of the things they did now, up to and including the "fake waltzing" they were currently engaged in in her living room, were, at best, weird for two people to do who were supposed to be 'just friends.' It would be out of the question for them to behave in such a familiar manner if Jane were seriously involved with another woman, just as it would be inappropriate for them to continue the teasing and flirting they engaged in on a daily basis.

Suddenly realizing that they had been standing in silence for far too long, Maura cleared her throat. "So," she said. "Holding your partner's hand…looking into the other person's eyes, all the while moving your body in perfect time with each other while you're pressed tightly together." She drew Jane in the remaining distance to her body to emphasize her point and then moved her hips against the other woman's in the semblance of a dance. "You really don't see the appeal of this?" she asked, her voice unconsciously taking on a deeper tone.

Jane swallowed hard as her hips instinctively followed the blonde's. "I guess I never really thought about it being like this."

"Maybe you should," the medical examiner replied. Maura knew that she should end the demonstration. After all, she had made her point and she was just torturing herself by prolonging things any further. Despite those facts, though, she found herself tightening her hold on the other woman and beginning to sway back and forth slowly in time with the music that filled the room. There was going to come a day when this kind of thing would no longer be "allowed," when the personal feelings of someone else would need to be considered whenever Maura wanted some "Jane time." Right now, though, there was no one else to worry about, and Maura wanted to enjoy these moments while she still had the chance.

"I like the new shirt," Maura said softly, after several seconds had passed. "Did you go shopping today?"

"No, I got it Saturday afternoon," Jane replied.

Maura arched an eyebrow in surprise as her hand lightly stroked up and down over Jane's lower back. "You went shopping Saturday afternoon?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Why didn't you ask me to go with you? I told you Friday night I didn't have anything planned for Saturday."

A look of discomfort flashed across Jane's features. A moment later, she released her hold on Maura's hand and stepped back from the medical examiner, ending their "dance." "I didn't want to bother you."

Maura found herself missing the feeling of Jane's body pressed against her own more than she would have thought, and she chided herself for her foolishness. She wasn't losing Jane anytime soon. She didn't need to act as if this was the last time they'd ever be alone together. Drawing in a deep breath, Maura slowly let it out again in an effort to regain her sense of equilibrium. "When has shopping ever been a bother to me?" she asked, confused by the other woman's response.

Jane returned to the kitchen island to retrieve her bottle of water and took a long drink. "Honestly, I wasn't comfortable asking you to help me shop for a shirt to wear on a date with another woman, especially when I…" The detective's voice trailed off uncertainly, as a flush began to appear on her face.

It only took a moment for Maura to realize what the issue had to be. "Wanted to have sex with her?"

Jane sat down and then looked directly at her friend. "_Intended_ to have sex with her."

The words were uttered quietly, but at the same time, there was a sort of calm "certainty" about the way that Jane said them that momentarily gave Maura pause. She was unaccustomed to hearing Jane speak in such an unselfconscious manner with respect to "sexual" issues. Maura thought about the woman Jane was currently seeing, and she found herself wondering just what kind of woman she must be to have inspired such confidence in her friend so quickly and easily.

Pushing aside the thought that Jane might already have actual feelings for Erin, Maura focused on the more immediately pressing issue. Jane was creating distance between them because she was worried how Maura would feel about the detective dating other women. She couldn't afford to let that attitude gain a foothold in their relationship right from the start. "Jane, I've helped you pick out clothing to wear on dates with men. You shouldn't be uncomfortable with me doing the same thing just because you're now dating women."

Jane frowned skeptically. "You don't really believe that, do you?"

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because things are different now."

"No they aren't." Maura protested.

"Yes, they are," Jane countered. "And the longer we ignore the elephant in the room, the worse it will be."

"'Elephant in the room?'"

"It's an expression…it…it means there's an obvious issue that everyone is aware of but is ignoring."

"And what 'elephant' do you think is in this room?"

Jane sighed heavily. "For as long as I can remember, we've had this kind of harmless 'flirty' thing going on between us, and that was fine before we knew we both liked women, but now?" Jane shook her head slowly. "I'm not sure where the line is anymore between what's ok and what's not ok for us to do as friends, and I don't want to do anything that might end up hurting you."

A long silence filled the room, while the two women simply stared at each other. Maura could see the confusion and worry on the detective's face, and she realized with a sense of relief that Jane was as concerned as she was about making certain that their friendship remained as strong as ever. She could also see something else.

"You're attracted to me," Maura said, the words a statement, not a question. Part of her was thrilled at the idea; another part of her knew that that it changed nothing other than to offer the potential to complicate their friendship.

"Of course I'm attracted to you," Jane replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You're beautiful, intelligent, and kind, and you're always there to support me when I need you. I'd have to be a complete idiot to be attracted to women and _not _be attracted to you." Jane took a deep breath before continuing. "And I'm pretty sure if I asked, you'd tell me that you're attracted to me too."

Maura hesitated, not because she intended to lie, since that would of course be useless anyway, but because she wanted to decide the best way to respond. "You're right, I am," she finally agreed. "But just because I find you attractive, it doesn't mean that I'll feel compelled to act on that attraction. After all, I find Tommy attractive and I've never felt any serious temptation to pursue him."

The instant the words were out of her mouth, Maura saw Jane's lips flatten into a hard, uncompromising line and she knew that she had said exactly the wrong thing to try to reassure her friend. _'So much for thinking things through first,'_ she berated herself. "Jane, I'm sorry, I didn't mean–"

The detective rose from her chair. "It's getting late," she said in a tense, clipped voice. "I should be going."

Maura quickly moved forward and placed a hand on Jane's arm to stop her. "No, you're the one who started this. If you want to talk about one elephant, we might as well talk about the whole herd." Maura waited until the other woman gave her a brief, stiff nod, indicating her willingness to hear the medical examiner out. "Jane, Tommy and I are both adults–"

"Exactly," Jane muttered under her breath, deliberately avoiding Maura's gaze.

"And we both know how you feel about the two of us being together. There is zero chance of anything ever happening between Tommy and me, Jane. Not now, not ever."

Jane exhaled heavily, slightly mollified but clearly still not happy. "You say that, but you don't know my brother. He can be extremely charming when he puts his mind to it."

Maura smiled gently. "Trust me, Jane, for the sake of our friendship, I am quite capable of resisting a charming Rizzoli, no matter how incredibly funny, sexy, and beautiful, he, _or she_, may be."

For several moments, Jane simply stared at her friend, trying to decide what to say. Eventually, she cleared her throat and reached out to take Maura's hand. "You're the most important person in my life," she said softly, her voice filled with emotion.

Maura squeezed Jane's hand reassuringly. "And you're the most important person in mine."

Jane sighed. "But us together as a couple…it'd be a terrible idea, right?"

Maura nodded as a feeling that was equal parts relief and disappointment filled her. "It would never work, but there's no reason this needs to affect our friendship. Everything we've done up until now as friends…dinners, movies, spa days, shopping…"

"Coffee in the morning, calling you in the middle of the night when I can't sleep…"

"Staying over at each other's places when it's too late to go home?"

"All of that," Jane agreed. "We keep doing all of that, right?"

"Absolutely," Maura replied. The medical examiner paused for a moment to carefully consider her next words. "But if at some point you become involved with someone who's bothered by how close we are and you need to take a step back–"

"Then I'll stop being involved with that person," the detective replied with calm finality.

"Jane…you don't have to make that kind of promise to me."

"It's not a promise," Jane said. "Just a simple statement of fact. I don't spend time with you because I don't have anyone else to spend time with. I spend time with you because that's what makes me happy." The detective used her free hand to gently cup the blonde's cheek. "You're irreplaceable, Maura," Jane said softly. "Anyone who wants to be a part of my life will have to accept that my relationship with you is non-negotiable. Ok?"

Maura swallowed to get past the sudden tightness in her throat. "Ok." She knew that what Jane was saying was almost certainly a fantasy, but Maura didn't care. For once in her life, she was going to choose to believe in the fantasy for as long as she could.

Jane exhaled softly and then glanced at the clock on Maura's wall. "I really should go," she said, taking a step back from her friend. "Gerald might get here early and I wouldn't want to intrude."

"Alright," Maura agreed reluctantly. She watched the brunette walk towards the door to the patio.

As she began to step outside, the detective paused and looked back at her friend. "Maura?"

"Yes?"

Jane lowered her eyes to focus on the hand resting on Maura's doorknob. "You're the other reason."

Maura frowned and shook her head. "I'm sorry, the other reason for what?" she asked, completely confused by the other woman's non sequitur.

The detective shifted uneasily back and forth on her feet. "You're the other reason I was so happy yesterday." Jane lifted her gaze to meet her friend's. "Ever since Friday night…it's like this huge weight is off my shoulders, and I just feel really good right now." The detective cleared her throat awkwardly. "Thanks for making this ok."

For a moment, Maura simply stared at her friend in amazement, as the sudden realization that she had been reading things wrong hit her squarely between the eyes. The change in Jane's attitude wasn't due to her relationship with Erin; it was because of the support that Maura had given her when Jane had come out to her. For the first time in ages, Jane was comfortable and at ease with who she was and what she wanted, and it had been Maura's acceptance of who she was that had allowed the Jane to feel like this.

"You never need to hide anything from me, Jane," Maura said quietly. "You can always tell me anything."

The detective's head dipped slightly in acknowledgement. "Yeah well, I also appreciate you not pushing for more details about Saturday night. I know you think it's a positive thing to talk about stuff like that, but that's just not me."

"I know, and I won't push," Maura promised. "I do, however, reserve the right to on occasion tease, wheedle, inveigle, and cajole to gain information."

"I'll accept teasing and wheedling but no 'bageling' or 'caroling.'"

"Deal," Maura agreed with a smile.

Jane straightened up slightly and began to continue out onto the patio, but then stopped again. "Oh…there's just one more thing you should know."

"What's that?" Maura asked.

"Despite what you may think, you would _not_ be able to resist the full force of Rizzoli charm if it was used against you."

Maura laughed. "You think so?"

Jane slowly allowed her gaze to travel down Maura's body and then back up again. When her eyes met Maura's, the medical examiner's breath caught in her throat at the smoldering desire she could see in Jane's gaze. For several seconds, the two women simply stared at each other silent and unmoving, until one corner of the detective's mouth tipped upwards in a lazy, sensual smile.

"I _know_ so," Jane said softly, before walking out the door and shutting it behind her.


End file.
